Tolerance for me, but not for thee.
The golden rule everyone has heard about dating is: never discuss politics or religion on the first date. While I do not agree with this to some extent because I believe those topics can help decide if two people are compatible or not, the conversation should be a civilized discussion, not an interviewing process. A date is supposed to be a fun way to get to know someone, not an enhanced interrogation aimed at finding potential suitors that agree with every political “hot topic” trending on social media.
Last week, self-proclaimed “intersectional feminist” Lara Witt published a go to list for all good feminists to follow should they want to find someone who truly gets them, as well as someone willing to withstand extensive interrogation for a second time. This author stated that quintessentially, she cannot be friends with or date someone that does not share her unwavering support of the issues she discusses in her questionnaire. Forget learning about an individual, diversity of thought, or civil discussion and remember that according to Witt, politics are always more important than the person.
Here is the list:
- Do you believe that Black Lives Matter?
- What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation?
- How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life?
- What are your thoughts on sex work?
- Are you a supporter of the BDS movement?
- What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights?
- Do you think capitalism is exploitative?
- Can any human be illegal?
- Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries?
- Does your allyship include disabled folks?
“Feminism has strayed from supporting the political equality of women, to disparaging half of its constituency for not following lock-step behind their radical-leftist agenda.”
Working my way through this list provided both laughs at how ridiculous these questions are in terms of getting to know someone, as well as genuine concern that someone may actually use these on a date. This list is a political minefield, each question loaded with backlash and quick judgement. How could one be expected to get to know the other while trying to answer these questions in a manner that would satisfy the interrogator?
The author went beyond listing the thought provoking questions, and provided the correct answers to ensure everyone would know what to expect of their date. The answers, which were very passionate, gave the “correct” answer followed by how this question would impact your future relationship with the other person. One example Witt elaborates on is the question: Do you think capitalism is exploitative? She goes on to explain systemic racism and the “prison industrial complex” arel products of capitalism and the belief that one’s life only holds value if they are producing a good that is valued by our capitalistic culture. Once I was able to wrap my head around that idea, I was shown that if one’s date is not a proud anti-capitalist, they not only support the “school to prison pipeline” but they also will take advantage of your willingness to nurture them without reciprocating.
Again, this list and other works by Lara Witt show that those who claim to be the most tolerant are hardly ever willing to tolerate anything but their own views. I am a firm believer that there are many things in life more important than politics, and I hope that those polarizing our political system will soon see that as well. Witt has not only provided humor too much of her opposition, but also a look into the broken system that is modern feminism. A feminist should support women on both sides of the ideological spectrum.
Feminism has strayed from supporting the political equality of women, to disparaging half of its constituency for not following lock-step behind their radical-leftist agenda. One cannot cry injustice while conducting it themselves. These questions show one line of thought, with a completely close-minded answer key to go with it. Having different opinions on politics often times is a deal breaker for a lot of people, but diversity is not synonymous with doom.
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